School Oppression

Schools oppression.

We have lived through history, we have learnt the dates and the names and yet we fail to identify the very thing that we’ve learnt about countless times. It surrounds us every single day and there are no recordings of it, there are no dates or names to recall to avoid this. Oppression. More specifically, oppression subjected by an entire system that reaches every single country – irrespective of your financial status, your race or your gender.

We are enforced into a system of oppression from the day we can talk. Ironic, isn’t it, that once our brains start developing, we are immediately shoved into a school – where we become nothing but barcodes. A product that is mass produced specific to a certain formula. We are trained, programmed and influenced from the time we are at our most influential ages. We are taught to line up, take stance and greet. We are a military troop dressed in uniform, marching into classes in form – and god forbid you are one step out of line. We are taught to raise our hands to speak, and only once we are acknowledged can we utter a word. Yet, they wonder why we can’t find our voices unless we’re shown attention. There are no hands to raise when issues arise, because the only time hands are raised are when there are signs of protest or hands in the form of fists. Yet, we wonder why we are so confused as we grow up. Our names are lost in the alphabet, while our identity is nothing but an order. Bells shrill every half hour, a ringing etching ever so slowly into our brains – conditioning us to “normality”. A sound that is stamped into our heads for twelve years. A simple procedure to program our routine. We learn about Hitler and Napoleon in the form of people, but how can we identify something so cruel when we’re so focused on people, and not a system. Our light bulbs are dimmed to match the rest of the people in the room – how symbolic that we end off our last day of schooling with a cap on our heads, indicating the end of the process of our dulling. Our barcodes become another number, one in an ocean of barcodes.

Somewhere along the line we become prisoners. Our every move is watched by cameras at every corner monitoring our behavior. The bells start sounding more like sirens and the cameras start glaring. Wardens usher us to our next chore, taking us to write a test to see whether we’re improving or not. Marking their production process based on exams, seeing where our progress lies. Until finally, we are no longer juveniles in our own skin, and we are expected to find our way in the world as if we haven’t been locked away for twelve years, but damn does freedom feel good.

They predict a future of robots, and I’ve always thought “how terrifying”. The thought of something with a program so advanced, yet mechanized that it may revolt, is horrifying. “The future is nearer than we think”, they say. They’re not wrong, you know. We are programs of mechanization, we are robotized. We are also fully capable of revolt and destruction.

LETS TALK ABOUT SEXISM

Lets talk about sexism.

It astonishes me, first of all, how often the word is thrown around carelessly which takes away the seriousness of the topic. Today, we need to start becoming conscious of how predominant it is in our every day lives.

Today, I read an article about how a tennis player, Alize Cornet, was punished for taking her shirt off at the US Open. This both angers and saddens me at the same time. Understandably, if it is a rule, it should not be broken. However, when a rule supposedly does not apply to men, that is a double standard. I  have seen Nadal take his shirt off numerous times, and yet there has never been a single complaint? Similarly, Djokovic sat shirtless during his break as well. It worries me that something so simple causes such an uproar. She clearly felt discomfort – which would have affected her game. Which brings me to the fact that Serena Williams was banned from wearing her catsuit that was specifically made for her by Nike as a support for her in the case of a health issue.

Women are being so openly victimized by sexism and no one is even batting an eye. It concerns me that women are being so restricted as to what we can do and how we can do it. It has been like this for centuries – how has the conversation not increased? How has this not changed? It happens everywhere. Not only in sports, but sports sure is exposing it to a larger audience. I have heard countless stories whereby women send emails to clients and the message is received loud and clear with respect. The second this same woman is on a phone call or face to face with the same client, her words slip through the air unheard because there is a realization as to what gender she is. As women, we are a force to reckoned with, and I think people are realizing that more now than ever. That is why sexism exists. Our strength is far beyond what anyone can even begin to comprehend. We are endless, we are powerful, we are filled with galaxies and planets with storms and oceans inside of us. That, that is why they will not give us a chance to coexist equally – because they are afraid that we might flood this world with power. We are monumental creations and sexism will not tie our arms and make us submissive, it will only provoke the elements that are waging war inside of us.

We can not stay silent forever, especially not in the face of inequality and double standards.

How I really found my self awareness.

To be completely honest, there are no quick hacks to self love and self awareness. There are no tricks and tips, there are no shortcuts and there aren’t necessarily any steps to take. It’s a persons own personal journey.

When I left off my previous blog with only the information about the paper with your written strengths and weaknesses, it’s because what you do with that paper is your first step to finding yourself. If your initial instinct is that the paper with writing on it is useless – throw it away. If you feel you don’t know what to do after you’ve written down those strengths – just hold on. Circle the ones you feel strongly about. Sit down with yourself and acknowledge your strengths. At the same time, acknowledge that you’re allowed to have weaknesses. Come back to it when you have a clearer head.

One of the most important things we do as humans, is regard peoples opinions of us as a truth. We need to stop caring what people think about us and finally form our own opinions. How can we understand our own voice when we have a million other voices stuck in our heads. Block out the noise and focus on what you love, what you like to wear, what you like to do and just disregard any fear of what people might think. It’s terrifying and it seems impossible, I know. Sometimes having acceptance in this world is the most comforting thing in the world. But when you’re fifty and lost, it’s probably not the most comfortable place to be in. Breathe. Take the leap of faith and do something, anything that you would never do in the fear of what others think. There has to be one thing. The moment you stop caring about the white noise, you can focus on the real music. Loving yourself starts when you love what other people deem as faults.

Keep in mind that none of this is an overnight thing. That’s why it is such a difficult journey, but just push through it. Work at yourself every single day of the week and every single second of the day. It is so incredibly important. People don’t understand the power behind knowing yourself and loving life as a result of it. It is the most extraordinary sensation.

THE JOURNEY TO SELF AWARENESS.

THE JOURNEY TO SELF AWARENESS.

In recent months, I noticed that my life was not where I wanted it to be. I am only eighteen and I was so lost, I was trying to be so many different people, and none of them were me. How is it possible for someone so young, to be so lost?

In a world where we are surrounded by so many people that are lost, from such a young age – we should question why that is. Even more concerning, people at the age of fifty have no idea who they are. Is it our lifestyles? Is it the media? Is it expectations? The number one thing I believe it to be is ourselves.

We all have this preconceived idea of what we want to be and what we want to do because it has either been conditioned into us or it is what our parents told us to do. We are surrounded by so many people that we hear what sounds like the “coolest” idea and we stick with that. We watch a movie, or a show and we think “I’ll do that”. What we are doing to ourselves is so incredibly harmful. I know because I was there, and I felt stuck for the longest time. I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to do, and to some extent, I did – but it wasn’t realistic. I think so many people are so out of touch with reality, it is terrifying. Which brings me to the question; why are we so out of touch? It is so simple, yet no one can find the answer. We have absolutely no idea who the hell we are. We really do not understand who we are. We mask our weaknesses with synthetic faces and we ignore our talents because of the opinions of others. When I came to the realization that I had no idea who I was, it terrified me. I could have easily pushed that reality aside and pretended that I had my whole life ahead of me with clear sight, but that would have pushed me back another thirty-two years and at fifty I would have landed up right back to where I was a couple months ago.

Where do you go when you realize you are lost? I had no idea either. So, I did what made the most sense. I figured that since I did not know who I was, I would start with getting to know myself. Who cares if it sounds bizarre, or pointless? An incredible thing happens when you write down in pen and paper, in full honesty, what exactly your strengths and weaknesses were. The strengths were surprisingly hard. I was so self-critical that I didn’t quite see anything as a strength, so I started with my talents, worked my way through to what I found came at ease to me and I had a solid list of what I felt I was good at. Then, the real hard part came. My weaknesses. I couldn’t lie to myself because that would defeat the point, so I was brutally honest. The most difficult thing I had ever done was stare at that paper filled with my weaknesses.When your weaknesses are staring you dead in the eye, a lot of realization happens. I soon realized that masking those weaknesses wouldn’t make them any easier, so instead I accepted them. I came to realize that I am human, and I don’t have to be great at everything. I had some strengths that only a select few had, and that’s life. We have to accept what we are not good at, that – that is the absolute key to starting to know and accept yourself.

Gender Bender

The infamous gender bender day.

Firstly, for anyone who doesn’t know what a “gender bender” day is, it’s a day where the boys and girls, on their last day of school, swap uniforms. The boys wear skirts and the girls wear pants.

Upon observation, the guys were immediately uncomfortable, constantly weary of their exposure and felt immediate vulnerability – It then got me thinking. As girls, from a young age, we are forced to wear skirts as part of the uniform – irrespective of whether we are comfortable or not. The feeling of vulnerability is somewhat always etched beneath our skin from the moment we are forced to wear a skirt as part of uniform. We are conditioned to the fact that as girls “we are meant to dress a certain way and present ourselves a certain way”. Yet, when our legs are sexualized and our self-value lies on the length of a skirt, they wonder why we hold such low self-esteem. It is a fascinating thing to watch the girls cat call the boys, mutter offensive remarks and sexualize them as a joke.

It leads me to question whether we are conditioned in such a way that we see vulnerability as a weakness or an excuse to degrade another person, or, is it the fact that as women we are so subjected to receiving this kind of behavior, that it is almost second nature to dish out the same treatment we are given? It also bears the question of whether or not this is how sexism arises. Does our constant vulnerability give off the message that we are inferior? Does this apparent inferiority ingrain into the subconscious mind and give the indication that men are superior? Although these are presumptuous questions, they may hold some unknown truths. A skirt is something so simple that is a part of a woman’s life, but when the roles are reversed it is a remarkable table turn.

The most shocking thing to me was the comments. The most common ones being; “I now understand why you girls are always uncomfortable.”, and “I know why you feel so vulnerable now”. A simple thing happened. The males had to physically put themselves in our shoes to understand what exactly it felt like to be a girl. It took the literal experience to get them to understand the reality of our every day life, even if it was just a glimpse. Maybe this sheds some light to the fact that we should become more aware of the simplistic things that we are “expected” or “forced” to do as women from the words “it’s a girl”.

Rape Culture.

I will be discussing rape, which is rated as one of the most controversial topics of discussion today.

Here are some rape prevention tips.

1. If someone is drunk, do not rape them.

2. When someone is walking by themselves, leave them alone.

3. Make sure you have a friend with you, so that if you feel the need to rape someone, you may ask them to prevent you from it.

4. Carry a rape whistle. If you find yourself tempted to rape someone, blow the whistle so that someone may come and stop you.

5. Honesty is the best policy. When you are taking someone out, do not pretend to be interested in them. Tell them your intentions of wanting to rape them. If you do not voice your intentions, they may make the mistake of assuming that you do not want to rape them.

Rape is a word that triggers an overwhelming sense of emotions in a person. Perhaps emotions of guilt, embarrassment or fear. Rape is something that is commonly overlooked and neglected because there is a stigma attached to it, there is a stigma that it is the victims fault. Rape is an inhumane act that is often justified by the same people who turn to abuse and violence at every turn.

Statistically, it is proven that in South Africa alone, one in three women are raped. That is heartbreaking considering that there are roughly twelve girls in my class. That means that statistically, four of those twelve girls may be raped in their lifetime. The South African police estimates that a woman is raped every 36 seconds. That insinuates that those four girls will just become another two minutes of a statistic. There is nothing that saddens me more than a world where a woman is no longer seen as a woman, but rather an object that is denied of her ability to have a life to herself, without it being torn away by a self-righteous man. There’s something deeply concerning in the fact that these statistics are taken lightly. A woman that sits back and says “it will never happen to me”, is a woman who is considered complacent and unrealistic. Why? Why should a woman have to expect to get raped? Why should a woman have to fear for her life at every waking moment of a day? Why should a woman have to look over her shoulder when crossing a street in fear of a man, rather than in fear of an irresponsible driver? These are questions that we should be asking ourselves daily, and yet we don’t give rape the light of day. We only pay attention to sexual abuse when it is a famous movie producer that has committed the crime or a famous actress that has been a victim.

I think that it all went wrong when women were told to watch what they wear rather than telling men to keep to themselves. We have conditioned men into believing that if a woman is not dressed appropriately, she is obligated to being a victim of violence. The way a woman dresses is not an invitation to a man. Rape is unfortunately something that is often blamed on the victim. Perhaps it was the way she behaved, the way she dressed or the way she looked that may have provoked a man. These are the things that are used to justify rape. But what about the women that dress appropriately, behave perfectly or may not be the most attractive? There is no justification in either of the cases. The sooner that the blame is put on the perpetrators, the sooner rape may begin to decrease.

After all, a man stuck in a room full of women is exhilarated. A woman stuck in a room full of men is terrified. This needs to change. We need to educate boys at school that a woman is her own property. We need to educate woman so that they understand that it is not their fault if they become victims. We need to create a society of understanding and support, rather than one of blame and naivety.

The Truth About Our Reality.

The truth about our reality.

We are plastic, silicon screens and a smile. We wake up and our phones are already in our hands, giving us that instant gratification. It’s addiction. Dopamine being released faster than we can tap and scroll, and we are never satisfied. Our cell phones are in our back pockets and back into our hands like anyone living with no patience.

What are we becoming? We are becoming plastic. We are becoming artificial. Artificial smiles, artificial minds, artificial hearts, artificial souls, artificial people – all in an artificial world. We spend our lives scrolling through “picture perfect” memories that are defined by likes and attention. We scroll for satisfaction, we strive for immortality in this new world of cyberspace. Little do we know that the real memories lie behind the countless failed pictures and imperfect smiles. We are becoming clones, millions of recreations of our displayed lives lie beneath our thumb as we tap our screens. We live in a world where we receive momentary praise and by tomorrow, we’re insignificant again. We have glowing screens and growing hallucinations. We are parrots mimicking the images of people that we’ve never met before, envious of their synthetic smiles. People don’t realize that behind the cyberspace, there are real side walks and real streets to be explored. There are real memories to be made and places to be discovered. We believe that a picture captures a thousand words, but all that is being spoken are stories of addiction, sadness, artificial memories and false smiles. Those words are stronger than the words you wish to mimic. You can mimic words but you cannot mimic the message behind them. Pictures will not make your memories last forever, they will not make you live forever. They will not make you automatically happy.

The world is made up of destruction and brief remedies, but no absolute solution. Nothing will remain permanent in the world that we live in anymore. We waste our moments bottling up memories through a flash. The irony is that the authenticity of a moment lasts just as long and it vanishes in a flash. We want memories but our memories are filled with gritting our teeth while our eyes are fixed on a camera. We don’t remember the honest moments of depth and real conversations, we remember the word “cheese” and how we posed for our co ordinated memory. We are all newborns with no sense of direction, but we have enough to know of our non acceptance, and that we belong nowhere else. We lose our days and the hours melt away seconds. We miss every passing moment because our eyes are fixed on a screen filled with momentary relief. We keep referring to the cyberspace as a new world, but that’s an understatement. The cyberspace is a black whole, a distorted and off version of reality, and it devours us.

This is why I decided to put down my phone. It controlled me and somehow I thought that I was the one in control. But soon enough I realized that I was missing out on wet pavements from the rain, laughter, tears and singing, adrenaline and passion. We may not get another chance, so if you want to live your life, live it. However, we should not have to show our evidence of living by taking billions of pictures. Who do we have to prove our life to?

We have become a new generation where we cannot even function in regular relationships. We are heartbroken when a message had been sent at 6:10pm and it is now 6:12pm with no reply. We are heartbroken when someone posts a picture with someone that isn’t us. Our friendships are defined by tags and likes and comments and everything that is not what a friendship is. We are entertaining this sense of instant gratification and no one seems to care what effect it’s having on us. We cannot be in relationships anymore because a relationship is meant for two people at a time. We give the entire world an insight to our relationships and everyone has an input, our decisions are based on the popular opinion on society and we are blind to our true emotions because of it. It is chaotic and it’s messy. Our lives are messy and everyone can see it and it will never go away. That one decision that we made that was screenshot and sent to someone else will be tattooed on our skin forever, it will be displayed on a great big billboard on the busiest road in the world. In all, we have trapped ourselves. As I write this, I am fixed on a glowing screen and I can’t help but to think, how ironic.

A journey with Anxiety and Depression

A journey with Anxiety and Depression

I once read that anxiety is disturbed water because someone won’t stop throwing pebbles. These words resonate with me on a deep level that perhaps can not be understood by those whom have never personally experienced anxiety or depression. But here’s an image.

Anxiety is drinking acid to stop the quivering, it is a discomfort you feel when you think and feel too much to the point where you can’t function. You’ll read plenty of times that anxiety is feeling too much and feeling nothing at all, all at the same time. This statement is the most accurate representation of anxiety that I’ve read thus far. Anxiety is not just nervousness, it is a demon that eats away at your soul and your ability to function in environments. It disintegrates your emotional state in any environment. It is the feeling you get when you’re surrounded by people and yet you still feel alone.

Anxiety is debilitating, and yet we’re expected to attend school and work because somehow temporary work is more important than our mental states. We cannot handle noise and people and work and sports and activities and responsibilities and anxiety all at the same time. It is impossible. We cannot handle anything, despite how hard we try because our minds are filled with spilt paint and black stained ink that fogs our rational mindsets. Anxiety is the chaos and manic of the mind and the inability to focus because there are too many storms happening internally. Now imagine having anxiety and depression at the same time.

Depression is the silence of the mind. The nothingness. The absence of thought, the emptiness of the heart and soul and the feeling of nothing at all. Imagine having them both. Imagine having to attend school with an empty heart and soul, and a conflicted mind. Imagine being so detached from reality that the world felt like it was collapsing in on you and the ground below you was sinking sand. That was my story. I was sinking slowly and yet the harder I fought, the faster I sunk.

Somehow these two words have defined my entire life and I never even realized it. Perhaps it was because I never knew I was depressed or anxious until I started taking my anti depressants. I just assumed that my inability to function like the people around me was what came with my mind and soul. I had no idea that not everyone felt the gravitational pull of nothingness. Perhaps that is why so many people revert to things like suicide and self harm, It is not for attention. It is merely for them to find a way to cope with the distorted world that they’re sucked into and have no understanding of. I had no way of knowing that wanting to sleep and cry all day, ignoring friends for weeks on end, having meltdowns because the bed sheet wasn’t evenly spread on both sides, even my unpleasant mood swings weren’t just a part of my bad habits, it was a part of the dark staticky corners of my mind that had been neglected. It was a part of depression and anxiety – which I apparently had a raging case of. It’s a funny thing that. No one knows that you’re slowly slipping into oblivion until you’re diagnosed, until you’re self harming, until you’re suffering at obvious levels that it becomes concerning.

however, once you’ve been diagnosed, you get put on to anti depressants. Drugs. Prescribed toxins that arguably cause more harm than the most dangerous drugs in the world. Don’t get me wrong, they work for people, but they’re addictive and they’re harmful. Though, I do know hundreds of people that are on them and they’re doing just fine, right? So once I got put on the medication, I had to go back to my every day life, attempt to cope with school after missing a few months, sit at dinner with my mom and try to persuade her into believing that I was back to normal because I was the normal one who never gave her any troubles. Somewhere along the line, I lost my morals, I lost my self esteem and I lost myself. I was constantly told that I was different, and honestly, I felt different. I felt like a lifeless body of mass that was sinking into the nothingness that had successfully suffocated my being. I was doing just fine, wasn’t I? Yet the more drugs I took, the more depressed I became. The more lifeless I became. The more detached I became. This started to grow into a greater issue than I originally was in. My initial teenage years were torn away from me and they were spent in clinics, doctors rooms, court rooms, beds and therapist rooms. Instead of going to class, I was hallucinating. Instead of studying notes, I was trying to remember the day of the month. Instead of spending time with friends, I was spending time with doctors prescribing more pills that I had to shove down my throat. I soon realized that there was an issue far greater than pills and doctors could solve. My internal conflict had to be addressed by myself. In this realization, I decided against all odds and I cut off all of my medication overnight. I suffered brain shocks, hallucinations, crippling depression and debilitating anxiety. But through everything, I somehow knew that this was something that I needed for myself. I’ve never looked back from that moment. There were moments where I’d hate it all and I wanted to go back to the misery, but I found it in me to realize that that moment was a deciding factor in my life. I set out to do more than anyone believed I could. And that’s the thing about depression and anxiety, they deceive your mind and soul and convince you that you aren’t alright, and the only way you can combat the internal destruction is to pull yourself out of it. The truth is, your broken and damaged hands are the only hands that’ll be there through the entire struggle to be able to pull you out of it.

One thing I’ve learnt through my experiences is that although depression and anxiety may not be physically visible illnesses, they most certainly are there. They’re there for everyone, some more than others, but they capture those who least expect it. Depression and anxiety are two topics that are vaguely discussed and often ignored. This disadvantages the vast population because they will not be capable of identifying these two illnesses before they envelop a persons being. These two topics need to be tackled in new ways, not merely by prescribing harmful and addictive medication. Not by trial and error, but through discussions and support.

A persons entire life can change for the worst if they do not have a hand to catch while they sink. Be that hand and you could save a persons life, despite how extreme it may seem.

The Time’s Up Movement

Everyone knows about this movement, or they have at least heard of it. The “me too” trend. But if you do not know, it is a movement that has shaken up the entire world. A movement that brings awareness to those that have suffered abuse in some form and now have a voice to speak up.

What is so significant about this movement and why has it become the number one topic of today? It is because it is so real. Abuse, especially sexual abuse, is a topic that has never been spoken about because people are too afraid to announce what has happened to them – whether It be because of embarrassment, fear, guilt or insecurity. What is sad is that people find the need to feel these ways. The movement is so real because it teaches little girls and women how to use their voice in a world that forces us to lock our lips. A world that assures us that our words are nothing more than a gentle whisper. However, this movement collects the whispers of all those who have kept silent about their experiences and it has sparked up a harsh whirlwind of a message.

The movement is so real because you could be sitting next to a victim, a victim holding the weight of several, unbearable years perched on their lips, all because they were never given the key to unlock their inner inferno. It has become obvious now more than ever that a woman in silence will become a hurricane once she is free, and that is why people are named after natural disasters. These women should be remembered for their bravery despite how challenging times may get. These women should be remembered for their ability to speak and say no. These women should be remembered for putting an end to people having to say, “me too”.

From now on, women should be taught that Red Riding hood was the wolf and Aurora woke up screaming because a man was kissing her without her consent. We should tell stories of strong, independent woman who stood up for themselves despite adversity. We should be told stories about how low the statistics for sexual abuse has become, we should not have to hear that one in three people may be raped or sexually abused in some way. Saying “me too” are two words that tell more stories than mouths ever could. “Me too” says to the person next to you that they are not alone in one of the most grotesque experiences anyone could ever go through. “Me too” communicates to the predators out there that we are not the victims and we will no longer disregard our vocals and be mute. We will make a noise together that will echo for generations.

It is time that women, and men, stand together to say, “me too”, regardless of what the world thinks. No one should wait a lifetime to speak up about something that has burrowed into their souls and taken everything they had left.

It has been eight years of my silence and I am finally capable of saying, Me too. The time is up.

The steps to success, from the beginning.

How to become successful – from the very beginning.

Have you ever come across an advertisement or a video that suggests that you can “get rich quick” or become successful overnight? Nine times out of ten, these things will entice you. They’ll appeal to the greed that is somewhere inside of you. That’s okay, we all have that desire to become wealthy or successful, or both. But if you really want to become these things, you’ll know that it does not happen by reading an advertisement or watching a video. If it did happen that way, the world wouldn’t be in the financial crisis that it is.

So how do you become successful? The term “successful” needs to be defined by you first. You need to decide what success means to you so that you know exactly what you desire and what you’re working towards. Once you have defined success for yourself, the hard work begins. Now that you have decided upon your definition, you now need to figure out what exactly it’ll take to obtain that title for yourself.

The first thing that you’ll need is a positive mindset. A mindset that obsessed over the idea of success and turns it into a current reality, even if it isn’t. Once you imagine yourself in the position that you want to be in, and you tell yourself every single day as often as you can – “I am successful”. These words will do wonders to the soul and it’ll be as though a switch has been turned on. You’ll be propelled into the drive and desire for success, because your brain has already positioned itself in that reality. A positive mindset may not seem important, but it is the most important aspect of success. When you truly and genuinely believe in something, it’ll most likely become a reality. This takes time, but it works.

The second most important thing is to have a definite and immediate plan. Figure out a plan as to how you’ll achieve your personal success. Success does not just happen from thoughts, it also happens from a plan that is put into action. Draw up multiple plans and stick them up on your wall, or put them in a place where you’ll always see them. Read these plans every single day and add to them as you go along. Work towards these plans daily. Once you put thoughts into action, you’ll be amazed by the transition that’ll occur.

It is important to remember that you are your own worst enemy. You are the one propelling yourself or holding yourself back. Success is up to you, you just need to realize it.